It’s hideously overpriced, its lines move about as quickly as the Democratic party does, its private label food is crap, its chicken comes in needlessly cumbersome packaging, its aisles are laid out badly, and no one is ever around to help you find anything. Honestly, I’m only doing these rankings to dump on Safeway, because fuck Safeway. Then you go in and drop $300 on items that are just a tick above Key Foods and Gristedes in terms of quality. Food Emporium is the worst of the bunch because, from the outside, it LOOKS like some high-end shit. New York City has its own ecosystem of mob-run grocery store chains that all charge you $8 for a not-family-sized box of Corn Flakes. I went here while on vacation once and found it unobjectionable.
Aldi is its own beast, but I enjoy going there to save a bit of cash by stocking up on boxes of Count Rockula and bags of Herschel’s Syrup. But the produce is dogshit and they don’t sell the Plentifull almond butter cereal anymore, so they must answer for all of that. It has what I need it to have, and I love using the self-scanner gun. I have given so much of my money to Giant over the past two decades that it makes me weep. Giant/Stop & Shop (they’re owned by the same company and are essentially the same store).I’d come back from a run and tell my wife, “Oh my God, they have such good fish there! And soup!” I’m more learned now. A little over a decade ago, I considered Harris Teeter to be THE grocery store. Even if I had a billion dollars, I’d be scared shitless to hit a Balducci’s just because I need pancake mix. There are people who uses places like Balducci’s/Zabar’s/Citarella as their regular-ass grocery store, and that always shorts my circuits. But for everyday groceries, it’s often worthless. I go the TJ’s because I need a quality frozen dinner, or because I need good snacks. Trader Joe’s is, in general, for people who don’t cook. In an effort to avoid that bonus errand, I have unwittingly bought vegan cream cheese from Whole Foods on at least one occasion. Also-and this is true for the next store on the list as well-there are a few routine brand name items on my list (Cheetos, Philly cream cheese, Advil) that my Whole Foods doesn’t stock, which means I have to go on a second grocery run to supplement the first one there. Again, not gonna factor in the parking situation. Also I’m still laboring under the assumption that Wegmans is inordinately expensive when inflation has rendered every grocery store pricier than fucking Saks. They’re building one near me, but every Wegmans is so big I’m almost intimidated by the prospect of shopping there routinely. The boy will do chores specifically so that he can get a trip to H-Mart as a reward. I get fucking FIRED up for an H-Mart run, and so does my 11-year-old. I love going to H-Mart more than I love going to certain cities. I’m also not including big box stores that sell groceries, like Target and Walmart, because I don’t feel like it. Commenters will help fill in the other blanks, and will do so forcefully. But I’m gonna go ahead and rank the chains that I know of, just so that you can yell at me about it.Ī quick note: I’m not gonna factor in the parking situations of any of these places, and I’m gonna leave out certain regional chains that I’ve never shopped at, with Texas’s widely beloved H-E-B being the most glaring omission.
Grocery chains exist less in a strict ranking than they do tiers, including Specialty Gourmet (Balducci’s), High End (Whole Foods, although less so now that Amazon owns it), Normal (Safeway), and Trader Joe’s. But neither has a location near me (any store that’s more than five miles away counts as not near me in my book), and so I can only admire them from afar.
Meanwhile, the hot bar at Wegmans paralyzed me with its endless, tasty offerings. Publix’s key lime pie is the best key lime pie I’ve ever had. They might be armed.Īs for me, I have patronized both Publix and Wegmans and liked both more than my daily rotation of stores. The point is that you don’t wanna fuck with Publix fans, especially if they’re from Florida. I’d much rather spend my day thinking about tasty sandwiches. I have heard more about Publix chicken tender subs from my Twitter feed than I have about Trump. You’re entering treacherous waters here amigo, because the people who ride for Publix will never un-ride for it. She thinks Publix is the be-all-end-all, and I maintain Wegman’s is the best grocery chain in America. My girlfriend and I have been at loggerheads over our preferred grocery stores. Today, we're talking about sliced condiments, toilet seat covers, slow motion overkill, farts, and more. And buy Drew’s book, The Night The Lights Went Out, while you’re at it. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag.
0 kommentar(er)
